Endurance Training

One of the most important traits one can have as a traveller is endurance. After all we spend a considerable amount of our travelling life waiting. We wait for a bus, that was supposed to have picked us up three hours ago; we wait at airports to catch our flight out; we wait in a queue at some embassy to apply for a visa and then again to pick it up; we wait at restaurants for our food to arrive; we wait for our next trip to start; we wait at border crossings for a border guard to stamp our passport; we wait and pray for daylight to arrive, cause we, once again, chose the cheapest guesthouse, which is full of bugs and mosquitos and lacks a basic mosquito net; we wait at customs while our backpack is being inspected; we wait…The list goes on and on.

We also need to have endurance for a lot of other situations, like when talking to the locals, when you don’t share a common language or when you’ve been walking with your backpack for what seems like days and still there is not a single bus/taxi/guesthouse in sight.

Now, if you’re a bit short on patience then you might be having a hard time. But fear not, here’s a 5 point training plan, suited to turn even the most impatient traveller into an enduring machine:

1. The Bus Exercise

   Go to your local bus stop and sit there for a whole day. Resist the temptation to just pop home for a sandwich or your favorite tv show. Take some nuts, for your hunger, and a bottle of water, for your thirst, a deck of cards or a chess board with you and try not to get bored. Talk to your fellow travellers and get them to play a few games with you.

2. The Navigation Exercise

   Stuff your backpack full with clothes, dirty ones will do just fine, pick an address at the other end of town and walk there. Do not have a look at a map beforehand, just ask the ‘locals’ for direction. Do not take local transport, just pretend it does not exist. This training exercise should be attempted on either a very hot day or during a rainstorm to maximise the learning effect.

3. The H2O Exercise

   Choose a restaurant, sit down and order a glass of tapwater. Then see for how long you can nurse that water before having to order another one. As time passes you will probably notice the waiter getting angrier and angrier. At that point maybe it’s time to upgrade to a beer. Try for at least one hour per drink. This exercise will come in handy the next time you will find yourself waiting for your connection flight at an expensive airport bar or restaurant.

4. The Insect Exercise

   Steal your little brothers ant farm (or buy one), catch a few flies, mosquitos and cockroaches and release all of them onto your bed short before bedtime. If you can borrow a pet snake from a friend then all the better. Turn the heating on as high as you can and close all the windows. Get rid of your duvet and cover yourself only with a thin sarong. Then try to go to sleep. If you are actually able to go to sleep, then repeat the whole procedure the next night with double the amount of insects. Alternatively, you can set your alarm clock to ring every 10 minutes, although this is not recommended, because of the lack of realism.

5. The Passport Exercise

   Apply for a new passport. If yours is still valid, then ‘lose’ it. There’s a tiny bit of preparation involved with this exercise. Get a friend to record the following sentences for you: “Sorry, admittance only with proper trousers and shoes” and “Really sorry, but there’s nothing I can do”. Then dress in some well-worn boardshorts and put on your flip flops (yes, even if it’s winter in your part of the world) and walk to your townhall or wherever you usually apply for a new passport. When you’re about to step over the threshold play the first sentence to yourself. Say something like “But I’d have to walk all the way back to my guesthouse”, then play the second sentence. Go back home, dress appropriately, then ’stand in line’ for about three hours. Eventually go to your case worker and apply for your passport. As soon as she asks for a photo pretend you forgot to bring any and feign surprise. Leave the townhall, get your picture taken, wait another three hours ‘in line’, then finally complete your application.

After undertaking of all exercises, please send photos of proof to my email address. By now you should not have any problems with any boring or tedious situations your travels will throw at you. Congratulations!! You can now pin an ‘endurance traveller’-sticker onto your website (available after reception and examination of said photos)!

DISCLAIMER:
Should you accept this mission and undertake any or all of these endurance training exercises, then Travel-Junkie.com can absolutely not be held responsible for any injuries, physically or, more likely, mentally, or anything else that could, and probably will, go wrong. Basically you’re on your own. Enjoy and have fun!!!

Tags: Advice, Endurance, Plan

Most of the time Boris can be found swimming with the big fish or chilling in his hammock in some far-away region of earth. Once he chewed some betel nut...

Posted in Articles, My Pick on 4 April 2007 | Comments Feed