Once in a while you meet someone who is out and about busy “finding him or herself”. I have never fully grasped the concept of this idea. What is it exactly that people try to find? Is it their real self, how they would be without the influences of todays society, or is it how they really want to be?
While this undertaking seems somewhat realistic back in their own country, I find the idea ridiculous when travelling. What makes people think they can find themselves in the alien surroundings of a foreign country when they couldn’t even manage it back in the familiarity of their homes?
The expression in itself implies that somehow somewhere along the road they got lost, otherwise there would be no point in going looking for yourself. And they obviously seem to have a problem with being lost. They might not be happy with themselves and want to change things. But it’s funny how naive some people are. Travelling is not an express ticket to a new personality. It is true that travel changes people. Without my trips I wouldn’t be the person I am today. But even when travelling, with all its amazing experiences and impressions, this is a gradual process and does not happen overnight or during a two week trip.
Moreover I think all this takes away parts of the travel experience. How much can you actually take in looking for yourself in every corner, when you should be looking for new cultures, new experiences, new friends…
The same is true for the problems you carry around with you. How many couples do (or should I say ‘did’?) you know that decide to take a break from their routine and go travelling or on a holiday, just to break up after a couple weeks on the road? Travelling does not solve your problems for you, at best it just puts them safely away somewhere for easy retrieval on your return. And more than likely your problems will try to surface at times. If you drink too much alcohol, then you won’t suddenly become a AA advocate, just because your favorite pub is halfway around the world.
What travelling does, though, is giving you a chance to start making those changes you always thought about on New Years Eve and forgot about after the third drink. Your usual temptations are gone, you are out of your normal routine and you are basically free to do whatever you want. All you need is patience and time. And who knows, you might even stumble upon your lost self somewhere on the way.
Tags: Experience
dominique - 7 April 2008 @ 12:25 AM
I think the key here is if someone can take what they learned traveling HOME. And use that when they try to “find themselves”. You’re right, you don’t do the finding while traveling.
traveljunkie - 11 April 2008 @ 12:34 PM
You’re so right, Dominique. Sometimes it takes somebody else to express what you’re thinking…
Mark - 14 April 2008 @ 1:05 PM
Yeah, it’s more about the experiences on the road… I think the whole “finding myself” might also translate in to the following:
Do I want to keep doing what I am doing back home? Do I want to indulge in a 9 to 5 job already or do I want to do something else with my life?
Do I want to live my life the way I am doing now? And those answers might be found not at home but somewhere else…
Although I do agree traveling is not a way to solve you’re “problems” back home, cause it’s basically running away from them……
NomadicMatt - 23 April 2008 @ 8:10 PM
Sorry ur traffic is down but now i just bumped it out!!!
Kelsie - 28 May 2008 @ 1:33 AM
I think the whole point of traveling in order to find yourself is to get away from the routine. We get so wrapped up in our day to day existence that we forget to try new things and be inspired by everyday things and we keep plodding along doing the same old thing no matter how unhappy we may be with our lives. By leaving it all behind you are forced to examine your inner-being away from the routine of home and realize what really makes you happy. You can discover what you are truly passionate about without being swayed by the automatic reactions we are programed to feel by our lives at home.
ovidiu - 28 May 2008 @ 1:42 PM
I kind of agree with all of you.
People set out traveling with the idea to “find themselves” but I guess most of them rather give that up early and just enjoy themselves, which brings them closer to their goal than their first intention they started out with :-)
BUT traveling, gives you peace of mind, i.e. I am an IT guy, so whenever I travel, I try to get away for at least a month and then it will be no emails, no watches, no schedules, just go with the flow.
So in my particular case, to cite your first part of your post, I guess traveling means to be how I would be without society’s influence.
GerhardNL - 30 May 2008 @ 6:22 PM
I just stumbled upon this website by coincidence, but bookmarked it right away after reading this, because it’s so true!
I traveled round the world for 5 months last year with my (now) ex-girlfriend, so I feel I can relate to this. Long story short: I ended up ‘finding myself’ (a term that has a different meaning for everyone imho) back home AFTER traveling, even though I didn’t even plan on that to happen to begin with.
Thanks for this article!
traveljunkie - 31 May 2008 @ 12:44 PM
No problem, Gerhard. Glad you like it!